#and i can't just not do the things i truly want to do with my life because i'm SCARED

[cdlunee]

i literally just admitted the other day that i don't know what chatgpt even is...the only context i have is the discourse/headlines surrounding it.

i felt slightly out of the loop but also never cared enough to find out or use (download?) it. im chilling as is lol so i figured why even bother?

like i truly don't know if it's an app or a site or software or what. i'm lost. and everything i hear about it just makes me glad i never bothered to figure it out.

i just like to imagine it's like one of those AIM chat bots we all used to talk to. just sitting at the bottom of the buddy list for when we got bored. but like, more powerful i guess. and worse for the environment.

all this to say: you don't need to use it. people are living just fine without it? and you might honestly be better off. bots can't critically think. and if you rely on them for everything, you probably won't be able to either. which will raise more issues than the AI solves i'd imagine.

if you want to use it, that's a whole different thing. and your decision. like for real go for it. do you. even though it's not my bag, i can understand why it would be appealing to some people. but you definitely don't HAVE to. so. just maybe try and keep some perspective on that.

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

[limerence-17]

Hey lovely! So glad I saw your requests open, I've had an idea floating around in my mind for a while now if you're up for it ♡

jealous!Joel X younger!reader teehee 👉👈 Joel's been horny for you for a while but he won't do anything about it... Until he sees Jesse being all handsy and flirty over you in public, and you let him because you knew he was watching. Joel can't take it anymore and shows you what a real man can do ✨

xx

dancin' for the devil

warnings: 18+ mdni age gap (it’s discussed,) joel is super awkward (until he isn’t,) oral sex fem receiving, unprotected sex (doggystyle,) drinking (of age!!,) reader is going through a breakup

word count: 3.5k

a/n: thank u for this request lovely! I'm obsessed with the idea of jealous joel holllyyyy. he's the exact type of guy who would have those thoughts but wouldn't know how to verbalize them and then FINALLY when he sees you get with someone else he just can't control himself. i could visualize this so vividly that I immediately had to start writing and this kinda just flowed out of me so here u go!! this is not really edited btw!!

••••••

“You know what, I think I’ll take one more,” you said, grinning ear to ear as you ran a hand over your no longer neatly french braided hair.

“Oh so it’s that kinda night huh?” Dina asked, side by side of you at the bar. You nodded, downing the next one just as quickly.

You slammed the shot glass back down on the counter and let out a short yell, “Whoo!”

You’d only been single for about two weeks, but having broken up with your boyfriend of three years made you realize two things: life was too short to not do what you wanted to do and you needed to spend more time with friends.

“You’re not planning on going home anytime soon?” You asked Dina, a little worried of the eventual moment you’d have to go back to your empty house, to nothing but the sound of Jackson crickets and creaks in the floor. You dreaded the moment your head would hit the pillow and you’d suddenly be overcome with nostalgia. The drinking was how you numbed the pain of missing him, and the dancing was how you curbed the need to be touched.

The funniest part of it all was that towards the end, you didn’t even love him. Hell, you hardly even liked him. He was a year younger than you, only 25, and was as sweet as honey. But the two of you had gotten into a routine.

You both would go on patrols, come home for dinner and he’d lay down on the couch while he’d tell you all about his day. But eventually he stopped asking about yours, and the two of you had stopped sleeping together. One morning you woke up and it just dawned over you. You’d always care about him, but you didn’t want to be his person, his wife, his anything.

You just wanted to be.

Yes, you had ended the relationship. And the worst part of it all? You had developed a ridiculous crush on the man who lead your patrol groups in Jackson. Joel Miller, who was about twenty five years older than you, and nothing but a complete ass to you. For some reason, you’d been thinking about him more than your ex.

Between not feeling the spark towards your ex anymore, and being more excited at the thought of seeing Joel fucking Miller. You knew you made the right decision to breakup with him. You just weren’t sure where your love life would be headed to next.

It was silly truthfully. You knew this could never go anywhere, but you couldn’t help but feel your stomach flip anytime you heard his gruff voice walking down the road with his horse.

He was just eye candy for you, but tonight you needed something real. You needed someone to touch you. To remind you just how desirable you truly were.

“Dina please come dance with me,” you whined like a little kid, holding Dina’s hands and swaying them back and forth.

Dina let out a low chuckle, avoiding eye contact, “Absolutely not I am so not on your level,” she chuckled. But it was then that the mood of the band changed. From an upbeat folk song to a slow country ballad.

You and Dina both looked at eachother and burst into laughter. Dina was practically about to yank you further away from the dance floor when just then Jesse had slid up beside you two. He gave Dina a small smile, she blushed like a little girl and you couldn’t help but notice. It was then that Jesse turned back over to you, swallowing hard. He wiped his palm on his jeans and reached it out towards you.

You gave him a puzzled look, drawing out a low “Uhh…”

Jesse’s eyes widened, almost as if he asked the question in his head but not out loud.

“Wanna dance with me?” He asked, hardly giving you a moment to respond before making another statement.

“You look… real beautiful,” he said, this time his tone was lower and his eyes were meeting yours. You went to look back at Dina, but she’d started to slowly walk backwards until she could politely walk far enough to give you two some space.

You looked around the room, noticing how others were joining the dance floor and you looked back at Jesse. He was tall, really tall, and for the state of the world in Jackson he smelt strangely good? Like laundry detergent and rain? He was decently handsome and truth be told? It wasn’t like you were taken anymore. It also wasn’t like Joel Miller was going to take a liking to you anytime soon. You took his hand, and slowly guided him to the dance floor.

Smiling, you could tell just how giddy Jesse was, unsure where to put his hands. But you wrapped yours around the back of his neck and guided his onto your waist. You weren’t sure if it was the whiskey or your confidence, but you needed more. Not Jesse, just more of a man’s touch.

You swayed back and forth until you leaned up and whispered into his ear, his cheeks glowing beat red from your words, “You can move your hands down,” you flirted.

Jesse’s hand hesitated, but he eventually cupped your ass quickly and moved into back to rest softly against the base of your back. The feeling was nice, decent enough you’d supposed.

But when you looked up from having your face tucked into the nook of his shoulder that’s when you saw it.

Joel Miller.

He was standing just inside the Tipsy Bison’s wide entrance, near the door. His body was half in the shadow of the main lights, but noticeable enough. His one hand holding a glass of something dark, the other tucked into his jacket. He wasn’t talking to anyone. Wasn’t even moving. Wasn’t pretending to look anywhere else.

He’d always been nothing but stern with you, if that. When he wasn’t being stern he wasn’t acknowledging you. But this time was different, this time you felt like he’d been watching you this whole entire time. It was almost enough to make you sober up, almost.

You felt your cheeks go hot, and your chest tightened up. The lack of oxygen in the room was now overbearing and resting your face on Jesse’s shoulder no longer felt comfortable, but claustrophobic. Between thinking about your ex and what you did, Jesse’s hands all over you and now Joel’s eyes, you were sure you were about to have a panic attack. You pulled away and looked up at Jesse. He raised his eyebrow, brushing his fingers over your shoulder.

“Everything alright?” He asked, a hint of genuine concern in his voice.

You half expected Joel to be looking somewhere else by now, but when you looked over Jesse’s shoulder, Joel was still standing there watching. Jesus it felt like it was only you two in the room.

Joel licked his lips, crossed his arms the same way he did if he was pissed at you for something you did on patrol. His gaze shifted from your eyes to Jesse’s hands on your waist. His hand ran over his nose ever so slightly, but his gaze was still fixated on you.

“I think I need some air,” you said, stumbling a little backwards as you removed yourself from Jesse’s arms. But it wasn’t from the drinking.

“Oh,” Jesse started, clearly confused by your antics. “I can come with you?”

“No!” You said, a lot louder and quicker than you anticipated.

You cleared your throat, and gave him a small smile, touching his shoulder gently, “Too many shots is all,” you replied, trying to compose yourself.

Jesse nodded, although you could tell he wasn’t too sure. You paced quickly through the Tipsy Bison, heading out the side entrance. You could practically feel Joel’s eyes on you until you finally made it outside. The door slammed shut behind you and you leaned against the building wall, taking deep breaths trying to collect yourself.

Until you heard the door open beside you only to see Joel standing there, arms now casually resting in both jacket pockets as he met your gaze.

“If you’ve come to lecture me I’m not in the mood,” you replied. This was the usual banter you two had, nothing too serious, but stern enough.

“Didn’t take you as the slow dancin’ type,” Joel replied, his voice low and gruff. He leaned against the outside wall beside you, turning to face you every now and then.

You scoffed, “I don’t think I ever was until tonight.”

“Is that why you let that Jesse fellow have his hands all over you?”

You felt your cheeks go hot, and you stumbled over your words.

“I didn’t- that wasn’t- Jesse’s just a friend,” you replied.

Joel raised an eyebrow, pushing himself slightly off the wall so that he could face you better, “Friend huh?”

You nodded, scoffing as if you were trying to make yourself believe your words. But Joel clearly saw right through you.

“Can’t say I ever had a friend grab my ass like that,” he said. The way he said that sounded so casual, and you weren’t sure if he was just annoyed, or flirting.

“Jesus… were you watching us the entire time?” You crossed your arms now, perking yourself off the wall to face him back.

“Can’t help but notice these sort of things, ain’t like you two were being subtle or nothin’.” Joel’s hand moved to his lips as he ran his thumb over them.

“You drunk?” Joel asked. There was something about the way he asked, the way he presented himself that made you feel like you couldn’t lie to him. It was the way he carried himself.

“Was trying to be, sobered up pretty quick after seeing you watching me like a hawk from inside.” You let out a chuckle, but Joel didn’t laugh. Nothing about this was funny to him.

“Ain’t you just got out of a relationship? With that… hell was that kid's name?” Joel asked gruffly.

It pissed you off that after a few years of you being on patrols with Joel, he never even bothered to learn the name of the guy you were dating.

“Matt…” you muttered, frowning. “I broke up with him two weeks ago.”

Joel was clearly becoming agitated, crossing his arms as he faced you, “You think dancin’ with boys who ain’t gonna want you the next morning is the way to go about this? Trust me I’ve been there… just makes it worse,” he replied.

You kicked at the rocks on the ground, avoiding eye contact, “Dunno… but it sure as hell helps me to forget why I broke up with him in the first place,” you muttered.

“Oh yeah?” Joel’s arms were still crossed firmly, as he faced you with his eyebrows raised, “And why’s that?”

You looked at him for a moment, taking in his appearance, the way his hair flopped down perfectly and highlighted his features. His facial hair had salt and pepper sprinkled throughout, and his hands were large and worn. But what drove you crazy was how he smelt. It was far more masculine than Jesse. Joel smelt like woodshop, and pine needles.

You sighed, placing your face into the palm of your hands, sighing before you responded.

“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about somebody else, you finally muttered out loud.

Joel didn’t speak, he just kept his gaze on you. This time his eyes softened.

You continued, “But it wasn’t just that. I fell out of love with Matt a long time ago, I knew that…” you sighed, taking a deep breath looking up into the night stars as you carried on. “I just didn’t realize it completely until I developed feelings for this person, until I was thinking about them like all the fucking time.”

The silence just stayed there between you two, as if you both had to comprehend what was just said.

“Come on Joel say something, you followed me all this way out here, don’t make me sound like a complete asshole. I already feel like one anyway…”

Joel shook his head, placing his hands into his pockets, running his tongue across the inside of his cheek.

“You ain’t an asshole,” Joel said, his voice was a lot quieter now, practically a whisper. “Not for that.”

“And I’m sorry for judging you for grinding on Jesse or whatever it was you two were doin’.”

You let out a soft laugh, grinning before tugging at your ear gently.

“Could’ve fooled me,” you replied, looking at his eyes, those big brown doe eyes.

He didn’t answer, not a first. It took Joel a moment to collect himself, shuffling awkwardly. You could tell he wanted to say something, but usually he reverted to something cold and you half expected that.

“I get it,” he began. “Look… sometimes we end up with people we think we love cause they see us and all, but then we get stuck. Cause we don’t wanna hurt em’, don’t wanna be cruel. But you shouldn’t do that cause…”

You nodded, your eyebrows creased as your encouraged him to keep talking.

“Cause there’s someone else,” you said, nodding to remind yourself that what you did was the right thing. “Someone who’s gonna make me feel more alive than ever.”

Joel didn’t move, he didn’t flinch or shuffle this time. He just studied you.

“Sounds like you already know,” he said, voice rough. “About who you want instead of Matt… instead of Jesse touchin’ you with his hands like that…”

You gave a dry laugh, unsure of whether or not Joel was just being protective. “Doubt it, cause I doubt he feels the same way bout me.”

Joel took a step closer, closing in the space between the two of you, “Ain’t no way for you to know that for sure.”

“Maybe he does.”

“Joel…” you said, your voice barely a whisper as he stepped even closer, his hand brushing against your bare arm.

“Look I ain’t good at this. I know I haven’t been the nicest and all but seein’ you with Jesse tonight… made me realize somethin’.” You inhaled sharply, still mesmerized by the feeling of his calloused fingers against your arm.

You tried to speak, but Joel shushed you, practically achingly as he moved his hands to cup your cheek.

“I know I’m older and all, and I understand if you don’t wanna be with a man like me, I know it’s too soon. But babygirl, I think about you all the damn time,” Joel said, and you felt your heart leap at those words.

You sucked in a breath, wanting to pinch yourself to find out if this was really happening at all.

“I know I’m not your man, I don’t deserve nothin’ and I understand if you’re not interested, but I wanna be the one you take home tonight. I wanna show you what it’s like to be wanted, really wanted.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“Shit… I’ve said too much haven’t I?” But you reached out and cupped his face.

You could feel the strain in his voice, how badly he’s wanted to say this to you for God knows how long.

“Take me home Joel,” you replied softly, running your hands across his cheek.

You smiled, as you took his hand, and walked down the sidewalk, side by side, hardly making eye contact with each other the whole way until you reached your porch. You both stepped inside through the front door and before you could say anything, Joel had grabbed you by the waist and pulled into a kiss- deep, aching for more. He let out a loud groan as he exhaled before kissing you once more. You hands naturally gravitated to run through his hair as he gripped his large hand across the bottom of your back, slipping it underneath your shirt. His touch was warm and you couldn’t help but feel so at peace, like this was where you were supposed to be this entire time.

Joel ripped his coat off between kisses, and throughout the moans and heavy breathing of each kiss, he pushed you against the closet door, now pulling away. His lips were pouty and red, his eyes were dark and locked onto your face.

“Bet you ain’t ever been touched properly have you? Never been fucked like the good girl you are?”

Your hands moved to touch his arms, but to your surprise he pinned them above your head, giving you that cold Joel stare you knew oh so well.

“That was a question babygirl, answer.”

You smirked, amused at how playful he could be now that the awkwardness between the two of you was completely gone.

“No… never…”

“Jesus…” he replied as he gravitated downwards, running his hands across the sides of your hips, down to your thighs. He was now kneeling, his face between your legs and he slowly began to pull down your jeans, as you stepped through each jean legged and he threw them to the other side of the room. He stood back up, feverishly kissing your neck, and you couldn’t help but gasp at the feeling.

You squealed as he picked you up with ease, holding you by your ass as he walked up the stairs, heading into your bedroom, laying you down onto the bed.

He removed his shirt, and unbuckled his jeans and you did the same, trying to match his pace. He grunted as he crawled to be on top of you, taking in every inch of you with his eyes.

“You want my fingers? My tongue? Baby girl you gotta use your words…”

You pulled at the waist band of his briefs and look back to meet his gaze.

Joel looked down and then back up at you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you replied firmly. This was what you’d been thinking about, and from the heat between your legs you knew this was what you wanted.

“You sure baby? Cause once I start I don’t know if I can stop. I’ll want you all to myself.”

“I want you to bend me over and-“

Joel took that as enough of a sign and put his large hand on your stomach and another on your back and flipped you over.

You muffled, moaning into the pillow at just the touch of his hands on your bare ass. You half expected to feel the tip of his dick but when you felt the softness of his tongue against your clit from behind, and the roughness of his stubble, you let out a stifled moan.

“Fuck me you taste s’fuckin’ good,” Joel groaned, before lapping his tongue against your slit once again, moving it up and down and placing kisses on your ass whenever he could.

He removed his tongue and flipped you back over so that you could now meet his gaze once more.

“But I said I wanted-“

Joel shushed you once again, this time firmly and spread your legs open, placing his index finger and middle finger against your slit, enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“You’ll get it when I think you’re ready,” he replied, his voice gruff.

“Cause I’m gonna finger you while you scream my name first baby girl.”

You moaned, as he slowly pushed two fingers into you, curving them slightly as his gaze stayed firmly against yours. His fingers were large, but didn’t hurt. You wanted more and nudged your hips slightly to encourage him.

“Joel please… need more…”

Joel knew exactly what to do and sped up the pace, practically enough to make you see stars. He pushed his fingers into your entrance hard and fast, pumping them at the same speed. He was grunting and moaning more than you were by now. But you were wet, ridiculously so.

Before you came, he flipped you back around, leaning over you enough so that you could feel his hot breath against the back of your neck.

“Gonna fuck you real hard now baby,” he stated.

The tip of his dick entered into your slit slowly, but you were so wet you didn’t feel any pain of any sort. You just wanted more, needed more, craved more.

“Fuck that’s it, what a fuckin’ tight pussy you’ve got,” he grunted, as his pace moved more swiftly. He slapped your ass hard, fucking you faster and you couldn’t help but scream out obcensities into the pillow at hand.

“Say my name,” he grunted out, breathing heavily.

“Joel,” you moaned.

“Louder.”

“Joel!” Joel slapped your ass harder this time, until eventually you could feel his torso shake as his hands gripped your hips tighter.

“Fuck baby… gonna come…”

Joel let himself release inside of you and pulled out quickly, laying down on your bed, panting.

You turned back over, smiling, running your hands through your hair.

“What is it?”

“Just so you know… I was jealous of Jesse tonight.”

You laughed, playfully tucking yourself into Joel’s chest.

[greypistacchio]

there is such a heartbreaking moment between Dean and Castiel in episode 9.06 ("Heaven Can't Wait"). when Dean and Cas visit the high school parking lot where a girl was disintegrated by a Rit Zen angel, and Dean says that they've gotta stop him, Castiel is looking at him. he is, alright?, he's staring at Dean as he watches him connect the dots and deduce what must be done to stop the killing spree.

here's the thing, though. as soon as Dean states that they have to stop him, Castiel's face drops, and he softly corrects Dean ("You have to stop him") before looking away. when he does, Dean realises that Cas is scared, and this prompts Castiel to explain that things are different now that he isn't an angel anymore. now that Metatron stole his grace, and now that he's Steve the gas-n-sip cashier who's got a date with Nora.

as he says this, as he looks through the passenger window because he for some reason cannot meet Dean's eyes while he admits to not wanting in on the case and to fearing what could happen to him if he tags along—Dean is looking at him. but then.

then Dean says that Castiel is right, and it's Dean's turn to look away and stare right ahead as he pretends that this doesn't hurt deeply. so he says that it's okay, that he'll figure out how to find the angel and stop him, and Cas looks away. he cannot meet Dean's eyes, and all he says, time and time again, is "okay".

which is made even worse by how Dean tells him to stay safe, to go on that date and live a normal human life. you can see Dean's guarding his true feelings, which is something he doesn't usually do around Castiel, and you can tell that he doesn't truly mean what he's saying. or perhaps it'd be more accurate to say that he does mean it—but does not feel alright with it. he doesn't look sincere and genuine, the way he did when he wished Charlie well on her journey to Oz or every time he told other characters to go live their best lives. nah, he doesn't. instead he looks and sounds hollow, and if you've watched more than two episodes you know that this is how Dean acts when he's protecting himself from pain. by acting nonchalant, and by trying to numb himself enough that it won't be obvious to anyone around him.

this isn't him accepting Castiel's decision to stay out of it. this is him pushing the pain down so he can deal with it later, once he's safe from prying eyes and concerned angels. and it makes so much sense, alright? the one thing that Dean fears the most is happening with Castiel, who raised him from perdition and is the only creature Dean has ever prayed to. as Dean has stated at least twice, he needs Castiel. he cannot do this without Castiel. and as he has shown time and time again throughout the series, what Castiel is doing to him right now is what hurts him the most, and it isn't death or change or rejection. it is abandonment.

so watch his face as he pretends to cope, and think about what must be brewing behind the scenes. behind the walls he's put up so that he can keep his feelings to himself. he looks ahead and doesn't meet Castiel's eyes. then Castiel points out awkwardly that he needs a ride back to the store, but even then you can tell that his smile is fake. so is his silence, because he is itching to scream at Castiel that he doesn't get to do this, he cannot just walk out on him. this is Dean Winchester, whose sharp tongue is infamous, and he doesn't say a fucking thing as he starts the engine.

he is in turmoil, and i cannot even begin to describe how much it breaks my heart to see his defence mechanisms kick in around Castiel.

[neptunesbeloved]

Yellow Carnation

wc: 2,384

Synopsis: How lovely, he planned a surprise just to cheer you up

tw: she pronouns / female reader / married couple / random!malecharacter x reader

Author's note: Honestly not writing for a specific character is kinda pissing me off, I can't be specific in my descriptions.

Check this

Material list

This needs to stop, it has happened for so long. He noticed how her eyes deliberately avoided his. He whitenessed her voice quieting down as the days passed by. But about all, seeing her warm smile fading with time was hurting him the most. He felt powerless in the moment, he didn't know what was happening.

They got married a few years ago, moved in a beautiful house nearby the sea and regularly went on vacation. He showered her with all of his love, dripping her with the finest silks and shiniest gemstones. He also planed the most original and romantic dates for her. Everything he did was for her. He wanted to give her the whole universe.

This afternoon, she texted him that she will be getting home later than usual to go on a walk by herself. She did not gave him any more indications but he knew it was because she was feeling down lately. At the announce, he hurried to plan a surprise romantic night at home to cheer her up. He called their chef in a hurry and politely asked her to cook homemade italian meal for tonight since she loved Italian cuisine. While the chef was cooking their dinner he rushed to her favorite florist and bought a beautiful bouquet of luscious ranunculus.

Once he finally got home he carefully set the table not forgetting to lay the tip of the newly bought bouquet of flowers in a glass filled with water to prevent the beautiful petals from tarnishing. Because she would be home in an hour or less he decided to prepare the bedroom for the upcoming massage he would give her. He covered the bed with a soft towels as he lit up the vanilla scented candles positioned in the corners of the room.

He truly wished what he had planned for her will make her feel better. In addition to this lovely night coming ahead he aimed at making her open up about her hidden struggles. He knew she was the type of person to keep everything inside, he wanted to create a safe environment for her to hopefully share her struggles with him.

It was 7:15pm when she got home, her face had a peaceful yet slightly sad expression. While slowly inhaling the comforting smell of her home, she closed her eyes before removing her bag and shoes.

–“I'm home.” She gently said, her voice resonating through the hallway.

At the sound of her voice, the gentleman grabbed the bouquet of Ranunculus and left their bedroom to head towards the hallway.

–“Good evening, how are you doing?” He gently asked, hiding the bouquet behind him.

–“I'm all right, thanks.” She answered while tenderly looking at him. “What are you hiding behind your back ?”

–“I have something planned for you this evening and this" He pulled out the flowers. "is the first thing on the list.”

Her eyes brightened as her lips former a smile of happiness. Her dainty fingers wrapped around the thoughtful present.

–“I love ranunculus, thank you so much.”

He tenderly grabbed her free hand before placing a loving kiss on her knuckles. He positioned himself behind her and placed his hands on her eyes.

–“You are now going to discover they next surprise. Do you have any idea of what it might be ?” He mischievously teased. He knew she loved enigmas so it was a great way to introduce the dinner. With a confident gesture, he guided her to their destination.

–“Because you are covering my eyes, I think that the next surprise is bigger than a flower bouquet and that you cannot move it around.” She guessed, leaving him speechless. "With the lack response from you, I think I am right. Maybe it is something that is set somewhere in the house like a themed decoration or a new furniture... We both already love the arrangements of the house so I don't think it is a new piece of furniture.” She add, still thinking about what it might be.

–“Almost there...” He gently chuckled before placing a little kiss on her head.

Her smile grew even bigger.

–“Thanks, I know. Anyways let's continue...” she took another moment to think. “Because we haven't eaten yet, you might have decorated the dinning room and thanks to the ranunculus I can confidently say that you've set up a romantic dinner. I think you decorated the dinning room with romantic arrangements!” She confidently declared.

He was in awe—In addition of being drop dead gorgeous she was also really smart.

–“What a brilliant mind you have, I am definitely lucky to be your husband!” He said, his words resonating through her.

–“Don't say this, I'm more than honored to have you . We are both lucky to have each other.”

–“My feelings doesn't take away from yours. Infact, I am just appreciating you darling.” He added as his hands left her closed lids before sliding down her arms to intertwined their fingers. "Let's get in, shall we?”

His thumb gently brushed her fingers, providing her with love but also comfort. He wanted to sooth her, to reassure her. Though he was a hurt by the secret she kept, he still wanted to make her happy.

–“Are you ready?” He said as an excited smiled formed on his lips before opening the door.

The dim lighting casted a yellow glow in the room as the candles laid on the table created a cozy feeling. A beautiful vase filled with water was set on the side of the round table besides a fancy bottle of water.

He gently took her bouquet off of her hands before removing its paper wrap.

–“Let's put those beauties in the vase, we don't want them to wilt.” He said as he delicately placed the flowers in the water.

Her hands reach for the chair in front of her but he politely stopped her.

–“It has been five years since we first got together and yet you still don't understand that I want to do those cliché it for you..." He gently chuckled as he pulled out the chair for her. “The chef will serve us the food in a few minutes. I can't wait to see your reaction.”

–“Since this is a surprise I won't try to guess what we are going to eat.” She chuckled.

After a few minutes spent talking about the latest news, the chef finally arrived with two delicious plates of homemade fresh lasagnas. She disposed the two plates in front of the couple before leaving the room.

–“I haven't eaten Italian food in a while.” She said while admiring the dish in front of her.

The chef regained the kitchen and left the two spouses alone. She reached for the fork in front of her to taste the meal. As she withdrew the cold silver fork from her mouth the ingredients laid on her sensitive tongue, their taste slowly diffusing through her mouth. She closed her eyes in delight as a whimper of delight escaped from her.

A gentle smile formed on his lips. He truly loved to see her appreciate the meal. His hand brushed for the stray strend of hair in front of her face. He then grabbed his fork to appreciate the dinner too, savouring his lasagnas.

–“Tell me, how was your day?” he asked as he poured her glass with water. Her flickering eyes didn't went unnoticed by him but he didn't pushed it any further.

–“It was refreshing... After work I went for a walk in a park nearby my workplace.” She puts her fork down to talk. "There was even yellow carnations. I've never saw yellow carnations this close and their smell was so delicate... Very lovely.” She picks up her fork. “How about yours?”

–“I woke up earlier today to work on a new thesis. The lab I'm collaborating with funds my researches and they let me borrow their high end tools.” He explained, looking in her eyes. “After you texted me that you were coming home later, I rushed to plan this surprise.”

–“Such a loving partner...” She chuckled. “Very thoughtful of you, thank you again.”

They talked about everything and anything, enjoying the homemade Italian meals as they exchange laughter, loving stares and warming smiles. The love between them couldn't just be felt—it could be seen and heard. They way they talked with so much respect to one another could melt the heart of the coldest person. His hand frequently resting on top of hers paired with her dainty foot lovingly caressing his legs spoke volume about the depth of their bound. Everything felt thoughtful yet natural between them.

–“Enjoyed this dinner?” He asked with a mischievous smile on his face.

–“I sure did ! I love Italian food, it's my favorite with indian food too.” She said before taking a sip of water.

–“I did too...” His flickered to his watch. “I think it is time for the third and last surprise.” He got up and handed her his hand. “Allow me to guide you.” As her hand took its place in his, he guided her from the dinning room to the door of their bedroom.

–“Can you guess what will happen next?“ He said with his low voice.

She raised her eyebrow, looking in emptiness as she gathered her thoughts.

–“Like for the dinner, the bedroom might be decorated... While we were eating you didn't make any allusion about intimacy and the ambiance wasn't steamy between us... It was more romantic.” She said as her eyes flickered between the doors and him. “But because the next surprise is in the bedroom it still includes some kind of physical proximity between us. You are the kind of person to primary show your love through actions too...” She took a significant pause. “I think I got it! Are you planning some kind of massage?” She said, her face taking a malicious expression.

A little laughter came out of his mouth as he affectionately looked at her.

–“Your sharp mind never disappoints, darling. You never fail to impress me, I am enamored with you.” He said before placing a loving kiss on her forehead. “Let's get in, shall we?” His hand latched onto the door handle.

The door opened, unleashing a delicate fragrance of vanilla as the candlelights animated the bedroom with life. She entered the room followed by her loyal husband before standing in front of the large bed.

She looked at the soft pillows, her lips slowly opened as if she tried to say something before suddenly closing. He looked at her with a confuse expression.

–“What's wrong, sweetie?” He murmured, taking her delicate hand in his.

–“...” She hesitated. “Nothing...” she answered, barely above a whisper.

He gulped down as a sharp feeling in his heart struck him. His jaw and eyebrows tensed while his tongue brushed across his lips. As her gentle eyes laid on his face he relaxed a bit.

–“Anything wrong?” She asked, her silky voice soothed his fragile heart.

–“It's fine... I'm alright.” He said as a sly feeling of guilt took over him.

–“Since you are offering me a massage I guess I should remove my dress. Can you unzip it for me please?“

He executed her orders, carefully unzipping her dress as his fingers lingered on the soft skin of her back. Her black dress fell all the way down to her ankles. She slowly laid down on her stomach before gently closing her eyes. The sight of her, so vulnerable yet unaccessible made his heart flutter. He took a deep breath before grabbing the bottle of almond oil.

–“You once told me that you loved the smell of almond oil so I decided to use it as an oil massage...” He said as he poured a good amount on the valley of her back.

With his bare warm hands he lather the oil from her shoulders to the small of her back in a linear motion. Gliding his palms on the bare surface before firmly yet gently gripping her tight shoulders before carefully massaging them.

–“You are really tense up here. Relax, I've got you...“ He said as he liberated the tension nestled in her shoulders.

–“Keep going please...“ She satisfactly whined before humming the sweet perfum of the vanilla scented candles.

While his hands went from her shoulders to the middle of his back she slowly opened here eyes, looking at the wall in front of her. She felt like the burden she was carrying within herself was consuming her from the inside out. It needed to be shared. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again.

–“It feels so good... You hands work wonders on my back...” She muttered.

He faintly chuckled before pressing an affectionate kiss on the back to her neck

–“Its good to know. I like to make you feel good.” He whispered as his warm breath caressed the back of her neck.

–“You are such an angel, I'm so grateful to have you in my life.”

With his skilled hands, he applied more pressure on a tight knot nestled on her left shoulder blade.

–“Is your work stressing you out like that?” He asked, slightly worried for her. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Her heart tightened as small tears formed in her eyes. She gently shut her lids before biting her lips. She knew she shouldn't keep secrets like this one for herself. She took a deep breath before talking.

–“No, it's not...” He noticed the sudden change in her demeanor.

–“Would you like to tell me what it is?” His hands massaged her back more delicatly as he could feel the slight feeling of fear rushing throw his body.

–“I don't know how to bring this up...” She said before hiding her face from him.

He placed a tender kiss on her head before caressing the slop of her arm.

–“I'm here for you... Don't worry, I will always stick by your side.”

She bit her lips as she restrained her tears from flooding the white cotton sheets.

–“Well... Last week I went on my yearly medical check up. I talked about my health and my lifestyle habits with me doctor and I told her that during this past month I've felt very fatigued. So we did a blood test...” She took a pause as she felt a tear streaming down her eye.

He started to caressed her head in a soothing manner.

–“It's okay, take your time...“ He calmly whispered despite his worry growing more intense.

–“While waiting for the results she talked more in details about the blood test. It was suppose to measure my hormon level because she suspected that I just had a hormonal imbalance. I didn't thought much of it and... When she came back with the results... She told me that I was pregnant...”

His heart skipped a beat.

–“I am pregnant...” She said as she crumble in tears.

He stopped caressing her head for a few seconds before firmly embracing her. Neither of them knew what to do. He then proceeded to gently rub her back as he closed his eyes.

–“No matter what you decide, I will support you... We are in this together.“

–“I don't know if I want this baby...“ She mumbled as she wiped her tears.

–“That's fine, love...” He continued his gentle caresses as his vibrating voice soothed her. “Do you know of how many weeks you are pregnant?“

–“Right now... I am six weeks pregnant.” She said before crying again. “I have to hurry up to decide what I want to do...”

His hands instinctively caressed her hair.

–“You don't have to decide right now we still have a month... I just want you to know that we are in this together, you are not alone. No matter what you do, I promise and swear to accept and support decisions. It is your body, so nobody else should decide what is best for you, not even me. You are strong, clever but most importantly you are loved.”

[mushimatsu]

my best translation of the new video out! lmk if you spot any corrections needed

Oso: Osomatsu here! Man, thanks to everyone who voted for the Osomatsu Prize! I can't believe we got so many applications for a prize with my name, guess the world's not so bad after all! Well then, let's start!

Osomatsu prize - Best skit: Season 1, Episode 8, Calming Osomatsu!

I get it. How calming! I wanna be relaxed my whole life!

Kara: Hm. It's Karamatsu! To all that voted, thank you! Karamatsu boys and girls! At last, the moment of truth! Which skit will be the one to take all the glory? Hmmm? Let's go.

The Karamatsu Prize of the Soul, Best skit: Season 3, episode 11, Pizza!

I see, I see. So that's how it is. Hmmm? I see.

Choro: It's Choromatsu! Everyone, thank you for voting! Now then, time to finally announce the results!

Out of all the numerous, wonderful skits, the one that's been chosen for the best skit is… Season 2, episode 14, The Choromatsu Incident!

Huh?? Nonononono, that's so messed up! Why my dark past!? AHHH, AHHHH!!! JUST REMEMBERING IT IS SO EMBARRASSING I WANT TO DIE!! (bird screams)

Ichi: Ichimatsu here. Uh… Best skit award… Well, there's a lot.

The one chosen for the best skit award… Season 1, episode 16, The Ichimatsu Incident.

Huh? Oh… Seriously? I kinda wanna go home early today. Thanks for voting, though.

Jyushi: Alright, it's Jyushimatsu! Whether you laugh or cry, it's the final pitch! Well then, time to announce it!

(ty @/reitziluz for correction!)

Chosen for the best skit award is… Season 1, episode 9, Jyushimatsu in Love!

This… This is a goodbye hit!! I can't stop crying! Thank you for voting, goodbye home run!

Todo: Hey everyone, it's Totty! Time for the award named after me, the Todomatsu award! Thanks for voting! Which skit did you choose? My heart's already pounding! Well, let's get started right away!

The best skit award is… Season 1 episode 7, Todomatsu and the Five Demons!

Huh? Why? Who let this happen? The production? Or my brothers' evil intent? Even though I'm the only cute and sensible one out of all my brothers!? Don't do your branding that way!!!

Totoko: Alright, from here on out, this will be hosted by your eternal idol, Totoko!

The most tear-jerking episode, season 2 episode 18, Iyami Alone in the Wind. It's a remake of one of the best masterpieces of the original Osomatsu-kun. It's a moving story set on the stage of a good old-fashioned Showa town, where an Iyami who's lived a careless life struggles for the safe of a blind young girl.

Moving on, we'll be announcing the Beginner's Suggestions Award. The winner of the Beginner's Suggestions Award is… Season 1, episode 2, Let's Get a Job! Knowing that they'll stay NEETs at this rate, the boys decide to try to get a job! All six of them are terrible people. This is a skit about a stupid shitty NEET, that shows the worst thing that can happen is trying to live a normal life.

Well, to say this last one is the Best Picture is not an exaggeration. Announcing the Legendary Idiot Award! The winner of the Legendary Idiot Award is Season 3, episode 22 Wannabe Detectives! This skit, reminiscent of a certain detective drama, has no intention of solving the case. It's a performance where the single-minded wannabe detectives run around recklessly and don't do anything at all. Having done its utmost to be as stupid as possible, it truly did become the winner of Osomatsu-san -like skits.

Oso: Thanks for voting everyone! Look forward to season 4!

[lettuceplus1]

Just be a femboy bruh not that hard

at first i was just going to ignore this because it's a blatantly invalidating statement, but i figured i could respond in hopes that i can enlighten someone on the subject. i was a femboy. that's where it starts for a lot of us trans girls - just being a feminine guy - and i really connected with the concept because i never really felt wrong living as a guy. my whole life i was never in touch with masculinity as a concept, but was perfectly fine with who i was as a guy as i started to express myself intentionally more fem. however, as time went on i learned a lot of things about myself. i learned that, even if i didn't mind being a guy, i managed to find some excitement in the times where i was referred to as a girl, whether it was unintentionally (wearing a mask during covid made me come across as a girl a lot) or even as a joke (i was dubbed the "mom" friend of my group as a guy). despite the lack of gender dysphoria i felt, i managed to experience gender euphoria instead, and as terrifying as it was to think i could be trans, i didn't want to suppress how i felt and decided to explore it more. it's been only about a year now since i've been able to fully say that i am trans. before that, it was years of questioning, thoughts lingering and not being sure what anything means. by all means, i was hesitant to call myself a girl. i wanted anything but to be trans. it genuinely feels like a horrible to say, but if it truly were a choice, then i would go back to being cis and make my life a million times less scary and difficult than it is. but one thing i cannot do is be dishonest with myself. ever since i worked up to courage to accept the label and dive into new waters, things have continued to change. and they will for as long as i live, because change is just human nature. i've slowly but surely dropped the remaining male/masculine parts of my identity, and have even had the misfortune of developing dysphoria about certain parts of myself along the way (believe it or not, the dreams from my comic have played quite a big part in that). but it's come with a sense of certainty, finally feeling confident in knowing who i am and what i want to be. all the years spent awkwardly living as a guy have turned into moments where i can be confident as a girl. there are things about myself i've always felt gross about, despite them being natural parts of who i was as a guy, and it's only now i'm realizing that a lot of them have to do with just. being a guy. so while i can't choose who i am inherently, i am making the choice to embrace it. there are plenty of femboys out there who have confidence in their identity as a boy, and i have nothing but respect for them. there are also plenty of femboys out there who will come to find that maybe there's more to the feeling than just the clothes, hair, or smooth skin. everyone has their own journey and i'm only here to tell you about mine. but regardless of how much easier it was to be cis, i've grown and learned that i'm not. i hope this helps you understand <3

[hikarimiyanaga]

It's You (Always)

Another Dany.

Because she has such a chokehold on yours truly.

I need more Fics of her 😭

-

You were not a warrior.

Nor a strategist.

Nor a knight.

Nor her closest confidant.

No. You weren't any of those. You wouldn't even dare compare to her circle. But somehow you caught her eye.

The rightful queen of Westeros. The breaker of chains. The khaleesi.

Or at least that was the case. Until he came.

Jon Snow. The perfect man for her.

He was a king and She was a Queen.

He can lead people to victories. Just like she does to her army.

She's righteous and justice personified. As he was.

And so when you see them together, even with the pain stabbing you right in your heart, you merely look away.

Because who are you? Compared to him?

Who are you to even want her attention?

Who are you to want her time?

You don't realize the tears flowing from your eyes as you gather every stuff you have in her chambers. Such a warm room, once shared with her, just makes you want to cry now. This place that used to hold her softest moments that only you could see will now house someone else.

The sacred warmth of her body will now be felt by someone else. The sultriness of her voice. The curves of her body.

All the things that used to be yours.

They will all become his.

You write her a simple note and your final portrait of her.

That was your final portrait ever, you decided there and then. Because no one else can compare to her.

No one in the world will ever shine so bright.

So dazzling that even the heavens part just for her.

And no one else can ever claim your heart like she did.

-

Daenerys comes into her chambers that night and she notices the differences.

Where was everything? Where are your brushes? The different easels that depicted every scene she loves?

Where were you?

She goes to the only canvas inside her chambers and unveil it. It was her. With a crown on her head, looking regal and ethereal.

She runs her hand through the portrait then finally notices the note that you left behind.

'Dear Daenerys,

I have held up my end of the deal. Your commission for me is finally done. I wish you all the best as you march to your throne and finally claim it. You deserve it, your grace. You always had.

This is my last portrait I will ever paint. For no one can ever compare to the Mother of Dragons. The Khaleesi. And the breaker of Chains.

It has been an honor, your grace.

Until we meet again.

Y/N.'

She couldn't help the tears falling down her eyes as she clutches your note tightly.

Unbeknownst to her then, there were two letters on the back of the portrait.

A confession of your love. Of how you admired her. Every single part of her.

And a letter of farewell. A letter full of pain.

She cries over you that night.

-

3 Years later.

'I am pathetic.' That's what you think to yourself as you walk among the streets of King's Landing.

The invitation was mysterious as it didn't have her partner's name but the event itself was enough to get you running back here.

Daenerys's marriage. The Queen of Westeros is finally choosing her King. It was a momentous moment. One that could be felt everywhere.

'They're happier.' You notice as you look around. Commoners have visibly more cheerful faces than the ones you noticed all those years ago.

'She did solve the food shortage and is slowly but surely repaying Westeros's debt. You look at the Red Keep and you're heart clenches in on itself.

'She's getting married.' You wipe away your unshed tears and focus on your task.

You've been invited as a painter. And so that's what you'll do. Paint.

The portrait of the love of your life alongside her rightful partner.

You can't help but pause at the gates. This was the place she always to wanted live in. The place of her childhood that was taken away from her brutally. But now she has reclaimed it. You revel at the walls, the history behind it, the scenes it witnessed and the secrets it held.

"You're still the same." You turn to see Tyrion. "Always appreciating art, no matter what form."

"Someone among us has to." Tyrion chuckles then you kneel to hug him.

"It's nice to see you again, dearie." You nod at him.

"You too. I'm guessing it's Jon that she's chosen?" Tyrion laughs at that but pauses as he realizes that you are serious.

"Wait. You don't know?"

"What? Don't know what?" Tyrion chuckles.

"She really is clever, our queen."

"Huh?"

"Y/N!" You hear Missandei and she hugs you.

"Missandei! Hey!" You were about to hug her back but she avoids you and instead gets your wrist.

"Come!" She drags you away.

"Huh? Eh? Tyrion!?" You call out for him to rescue you but he just waves you goodbye.

"Good luck, dearie!"

-

Missandei brings you to a chamber and you gulp as you realize who's chambers it was. You turn around but Missandei just pushes you inside and locks the door.

"Missandei! Let me out! I'm not getting murdered on this day!"

"Who says you will be?" You freeze at her voice and you turn around.

"Uh-"

"I'm bathing." You blush as you realize where her voice is coming for.

"Uh- my apologies! I was just leav-"

"Come." You freeze and look at the direction of her voice. "Have you become deaf? I said come."

"Uh- why- today is your weddi-"

"I know what day it is. Come." You reluctantly get to her and you see her body submerged in a bathtub full of roses petals and water. "Missandei did well."

"Huh? What- oh, you mean dragging me here? I can never resist Missandei like that. Grey Worm will kill me in a heartbeat if I even think about resisting." She emerges from the bath and you quickly look away. You might have been fine with looking but whoever she will marry today will not be! Jon Snow will kill you!

"You used to love watching me do that." You blush as she recalls your shared past.

"Many things have changed, your grace. Uh- your majesty."

"No. Daenerys. Say my name." You gulp at that.

"That would be inappropriate for me to-" She tower over you as she pushes you against the wall.

"Say it. Say my name." You blush to your neck as you know that she's doing this while she's completely naked. Does she not see you as a danger!?

"Daenerys." You say with a soft sigh. You haven't spoken her beautiful name in a long time. You forbade yourself to. Because you know that you will remember her more. Imagine her more.

"Good." She says then grabs your chin to look at her and it takes all of your willpower to not let your eyes wander. "What have you done for the past three years?"

"Huh? What have I done?"

"Yes. Tell me everything."

"Uhhh... Nothing much. Painting sceneries. That's about it."

"Lovers? Wives?"

"Ha. Is that a joke? I'm a loner, you know this."

"So no one? No one else has become interested in you? Touched you?"

"No. Why are you asking-"

"Good. Good."

"Dany." The old nickname slips out as you get frustrated. "Why do you keep asking me these questions?"

"They're important."

"Important how!? We're-"

"Because I'm marrying you!" You freeze at that. "You disappeared three years ago! Before I could even give you the ring! And now you keep doing these-"

"Dany, stop! You- you can't marry me!"

"What!? Y/N-"

"You're a Queen, Daenerys! I'm just a lowly painter! I can't lead your armies! I can't lead your people and I certainly can't wield a fucking sword!" Your tears fall before you even realize it. "I'm fucking useless for someone like you!" You sob as lean your head against her shoulder. "That's why I left! Because you- you deserve someone so much better than just- me."

"You're an idiot." She says as she hugs you and you hug her back. You missed this. Her comforting warmth and the feel of her skin. You missed her so much.

"I don't need you to do all those. I just want you by my side." She pulls away and you look at her. "So I will ask. Y/N, will you marry me?"

"You're sure?" You sniff and she chuckles as she wipes away your tears.

"I am."

"Then yes. Please." She kisses you tenderly but the moment is broken when you both loud knocks from the door.

"Your grace! Y/N! Have you two made up or are we cancelling the wedding!?"

"Please answer! The crowd is waiting!" Daenerys growls at the interruption but you kiss her.

"Don't get angry with them. It's our most special day." Her face softens at that.

"It is. I reckon Missandei is here to get you so go with her."

"Get me? To where?"

"For your dress."

"Huh?" The door opens and you turn to Missandei. She bows at Daenerys.

"Your majesty, the seamstress has completed your request."

"Thank you. Take her, then."

"Wait- what-"

"I'll see you, my love."

"What- Dany-" You don't get to protest further as Missandei drags you away.

-

You see yourself in the mirror and stare at yourself... Is that-

"It is you, Y/N. See what a good dress and cleaning up can do?" Missandei says as she braids your hair.

"W-why braids? Da-Daenerys says that only-"

"As her wife, the Khaleesi has bestowed you the same honor that she has. She said to me that you might not be a warrior but you are the reason why she keeps fighting."

"That's hardly equal." Missandei shrugs.

"Take it up with the Queen. Done." You turn and look at your braids.

"They're pretty."

"I've had years of practice."

"Thank you, Missandei. Really." You tear up. "I thought it was actually her and Jon that was going to be wed."

"Is that why you left?" You nod at her question.

"Part of it. I never saw myself being by her side permanently. A part of me always knew that what we have was temporary for her."

"Did she say that?"

"At the beginning, yeah. She told me that I was only a placeholder, so to speak. That's why we never really formally announced us."

"She was an idiot. That. And she didn't see herself when she was with you. But I did, Y/N. She was always so soft and smily when she's with you. She always had this glow to her." You chuckle at her.

"When her enemies tremble before her charm and might. I can't help but always think of how she's shown me the most softest parts of her. She's cruel enough to be a ruler but still soft enough to whoever holds her heart."

"You're the only one who brought it out of her."

"Jon? Did they ever-"

"No. She was going to search for you. But circumstances happened and she began fighting for Westeros instead. Then her first order when she sat on the throne was for the Master of Whisperers to find you."

"But the way she looked at Jon-"

"I was fascinated by his stories." Both you and Missandei look as Daenerys approach. "By the magic. By the wonders he claimed to have seen." Missandei bows out of the room and Daenerys sits on your lap. "I never looked at him the way I looked at you."

"Where is he now, by the way?"

"The north. They have their own kingdom now."

"Really?"

"You've never heard of it? Why? Has news not traveled well in the free cities?" You blush and grumble as you pull her closer.

"I always avoided news coming from Westeros."

"I see." Daenerys leans back on you. "The braids and the gown look good on you, my love."

"Thank you. You look like a goddess, as always, Dany."

"Can you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You said in your letter that you can paint a portrait of me and whoever I marry. Which means us. So? Can you do it?" You hum.

"I probably can. But it'll take more time." Daenerys chuckles and kisses you.

"We have all the time in the world."

-

A/N:

I'm trying to get back more into writing again!

If any of you wanna support me and my broke ass:

Thank you for reading!

[prapaiwife]

Top form EP 11 finale!! *Mi tesoro*

Honestly, I don't want to say goodbye yet to the show, but here we are. And it was good the finale had some parallels and meaningful moments that can't be overlooked!

To get into the actual episode it picks up with akin fighting to have some placement in his grandma's play. Sigma basically gave him no choice but to take their offer and leave the industry in order for him to have any involvement. And while he's constantly fighting it becomes just so tiring negotiation after negotiation keeps getting knocked down he's backed into a corner again. And it's honestly discouraging because why does he have to continuously face these battles. But the way he just opened Jun and Jun doing everything he said he would and that's just saying by his side. It's moments like this as to why kin truly can get through any tough battle in his life because Jun will be there to share his hurt to share his pain share his sadness to share his tears. To pick him up when he feels so low like he did and encourage him to get through it that they're going to get through it together.

And so he doesn't give up! He ultimately sacrifices his career after being basically given no choice. But even before that Jun was willing to leave his career behind as well! if it meant that kin couldn't live his dream as well. Especially with how far jin came in his career and the prestigious he's gotten it was no hesitation from him to leave everything behind. These two make the ultimate sacrifices for each other it's just love.

The lines that hit me in my chest the most though. Because it's such a big acknowledgement from kin! Acting was and has been his whole entire life and kind of all he knew. He witnessed and watched it from a young age from his grandma and then went into the industry so young. And becoming so successful and becoming so confident in his work and his craft. That he didn't even think that others can necessarily be as good as him but ultimately knowing that anyone can if they try hence him meeting Jun. *Also back to when Jun beat him for the sexiest man alive award then and how he admittedly felt thrown off and to now both of them winning this time around and it doesn't matter as much* And for him to now have his life completely changed within a span of 3 years and for his focus to shift from something other than acting to something to someone more important for once in his life. He really understands what will make his life more fulfilling and valuable if it did come down to him having to choose. And with no hesitation he will choose the most beautiful addition to his life the person who has been there for him.

And I think that is just so very beautiful coming from the beginning of where he expresses that he never ever kissed anyone unless it wasn't for acting Until Jun. Waiting for that inevitable moment where it was all going to end just like how his work is done at the end of the day when the director calls cut. He didn't expect Jun to have completely changed his world the way that he did. In ep 5 he was floating in a space! And also because of him being in the industry he became accustomed to needing to put on that acting stitch in and outside and outside of personal life. But upon meeting Jun and for the first time in his life having someone care as hard as they did and love him as hard as they did. Even when he felt like at times he didn't deserve it from situations that weren't even his fault. But throughout all of the struggles he faced he began to trust and believe in what his life has given him other than the only thing he knew which is Jun.

Then we see akin direct which is cool to see cause again compared to the beginning where him and Jin started in the beginning. With him leading Jun as his co-star to then him leading him now but just behind the scenes! And the ratings still stay that doesn't end just because he's in a relationship with the lead lol. But it was so nice to see him fully embrace that part of his life rightfully taking a break from being in the spotlight. To be behind the scenes and watch Jun continuously get better through his own eyes because he saw it from the beginning.

The same guy who couldn't cry and breathe properly through it he's always going to be there to remind him to teach him to lead him and that's so special!!!

Then we see them move into their new house together and not take the plastic off the sofa and get straight to it lol. But for Jun to ask on the anniversary as well when they first met can he have his hand in marriage. And kin gives him the same response as before but this time if only he wins the best actor award.

And of course he wins and even in that moment when Jun wins and as he thanks everyone he especially wants to express his thankfulness to Kin. And you just see the whole place empty out and it's just them. And he says still to this day he won this award he still hasn't been able to breathe properly🥹and it was because of that notion of kindness from Kin that made him want to draw himself closer to kin. And not kin just kin the actor that everyone loves but just kin himself. It was never about being ahead just being right next to him was enough. He had the best teacher and best husband he could ever ask 🤧

Post marriage life and kin has a job offering to be an actor again which we may see in the second season that is rumored to be happening. But overall a really nice finale it was great I love smart and Boom so much they put their whole entire but into these characters the time and dedication they have spent has truly been shown off in each episode. So glad that that show was in a way a second chance for people to truly see the potential of these two and to many more projects to come together hopefully.

[thestarswillguide]

While I was once again drooling over Aaravos ig edits, there was one edit I saw that was sad ofc cause it was him and Leola, but the OP's caption drew my attention. They said that if Aaravos truly loved Leola, then he would've died with her.

I will admit, the comment did bother me (even tho it's just their opinion haha what is wrong with me-). And even though he's the world destroyer and all... y'all know I gotta defend my man lol

Just to be clear first, I have a habit of always imagining myself in the body of another person, seeing and feeling everything they do so that I can try to understand as much as possible (which probably means I'm an empath? Plus I love psychology ❤️).

I do this with everyone. Family. Animals. Characters. So I'm basically not the kind of person you'd see throwing around words to describe ppl like "weird" or anything. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is... I disagree with the idea that Aaravos didn't truly love his daughter. I can understand why he chose to live.

Honestly, I think he loved her *too* much. Too much to the point that he let his love overpower what he knew she would have wanted. It probably broke him to not be able to die with her. He could've wanted to so badly.

He even offered up his own life so that she could live (which is the greatest act of love imo), and when that wasn't an option, he was willing to have himself go through an *eternity* of torment, because he couldn't stand the idea of dying and not getting back at the council for doing this to his precious baby.

And to think that he was once so kind and compassionate, but then twisted into something monstrous shows that she's the *only* thing he cares about (besides Claudia ofc).

I do think if he put her *feelings* above his own, then he would've held back on taking revenge...but really, I can't blame him for choosing to not die with her since love can literally make someone insane, and in his case, absolutely consumed by rage and heartbreak. 😞💔

I could be completely wrong lol, but I really just wanted to hear any more opinions on this one.

@stardustamaryllis78, @salty-and-spiraling, and @bat-snake? Your opinions?

Also ONE more month to go until we get news on the future of tdp!! I'm SO anxious omg, crossing my fingers. Love y'all! 😣💗

[gwaaaaar]

Hot take black butler fandom. But. I think the Weston arc is fine + i think the p4 are actually more sympathetic than the circus group.

Don't get me wrong i cried when doll died when i was like. 12. That was a core memory. I loved the Noah's arc trope. BUT IT WAS SO CONTRIVED WHEN THEY WERE LIKE ohhhhh the real tragedy was the fact that they were fighting for a workhouse that was already long gone!!! likE FUUUUUUCK OFF!!!!! YOU'RE TELLING ME THEY NEVER BOTHERED TO CHECK ON THE WORKHOUSE LIKE EVER??? AND AFAIK... they weren't forbidden from checking or anything. I was rereading the manga i was looking for any indication as to why they didn't ever check and THERE WAS NONE??? THEY JUST FORGOR. THEY DID THIS TO THEMSELVES TECHNICALLY IF THEY DIDN'T SEND ANYONE TO GO SEE HOW THE KIDS WERE DOING. LIKE LITERALLY IF JOKER JUST WENT BACK ONE DAY AND REALIZED IT WAS BURNED DOWN THEY COULD'VE LIKE RAN AWAY OR SOMETHING. and i absolutely understand the whole "this is the man who saved us we owe him" thing. BUT THAT DOESNT EXCUSE LITERAL CHILD TRAFFICKING. BEING LIED TO OVER SUCH A SERIOUS MATTER WOULD BE A DEALBREAKER. I THINK THEY'D AT LEAST HAVE THAT MUCH MORALS RIGHT??? Don't insult my fucking intelligence kuroshitsuji/lh it's supposed to be some ironic tragedy but like. Because of that contrivance I can't feel bad. It could've taken 1 thing, 1 simple thing. And the plot would fall apart.

Noah's arc circus: ":( b-but we only trafficked those children to protect the workhouse we didnt even bother to check on for years!!!"

P4: "We did what we had to to protect our fellow students from the corrupt education system which would have turned a blind eye to the abuse they faced in favor of money if we didn't do anything. We love our underclassmen and want whats best for them."

This is an extreme simplification and a virgin v chad caricature of what happened, but sometimes it's truly how I feel about it. The Noah's arc circus felt a lot less sincere to me and a lot more cowardly simply because of that one thing, that one simple thing.

And of course the p4 are more forgiveable because they're literal teenagers, like 18 yos compared to the troupe in their twenties. And ofc justice performed by civillians and not by a thorough legal process is unethical, but like. At least. They weren't trafficking children.

BTW feel free to kill me in the comments I get why people loved the troupe, I do too. Black Butler isn't a series meant for apologists it's the "who's your favorite war criminal" animanga, i just hate contrived plot points that feel like it's underestimating my intelligence it PMO 😡😡😡😡😡😡

[kittwix]

could you do the joestars proposing to there s/o after they nearly lose them in a fight

Joestars Proposing To S/O After Nearly Losing Them In A Fight

why does this literally sound like something that would actually happen omg. this was really cute to write!! please enjoy and thank you for the request :)

tags: sfw, very sweet, mentions of death, reader is a hamon/stand user in respective parts, gender neutral! reader

Jonathan Joestar

He'd kneel beside you, his gloved hand trembling as he cradles yours. His face, bruised up with dry blood staining his chiseled cheek and his eyes were warm like the sun setting on your skin. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

"When I saw you lying there, I felt like my entire world was slipping away. I realized then, there's not future I want unless you're in it. Please," The grip he had on your hand tightened and his voice shook a bit. "let me spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you. Will you marry me?"

Joseph Joestar

He'd hold your bruised face in his hands, eyes glassy despite him having his usual cocky grin. It was rare to see him look so broken and vulnerable, even in those dire times he always manage to have a smile for you to look up to.

"You scared the hell outta me, y'know that? I thought I was gonna lose you forever." He chuckled weakly, gently patting at your cheeks. "Okay, I'm just gonna cut right through the chase. So, whaddya say? Let's beat death to the punch." He said, trailing one of his hands down to grab ahold of yours. "Marry me before the next lunatic comes to steal you away from me."

Jotaro Kujo

You two were alone in the hospital as you were bedridden and were recovering from your injuries. He hasn't left your side for days and honestly, it's flustered you to see that he cares this much. So it came to a shock to you when he drops the big question as he stands awkwardly and pulls a small box out.

"I'm not good at this kind of thing. But when I thought you might die... I couldn't breathe. I don't ever want to feel that again. So... will you marry me?"

Josuke Higashikata

He had barely managed to treat your wounds with Crazy Diamond after your big battle. It was pouring, he dropped to his knees in the mud and clutched your hand. You couldn't bare to see the pained look on his face as his voice trembles.

"You can't scare me like that again. I-.. I thought I was gonna lose you. I love you more than anything. I want to be able to protect you and be there for you for the rest of our lives. Will... you be mine forever?"

Giorno Giovanna

He was relieved that he had patched you back up in time. He refused to let you die by his hands. He sat beside you, bloodied and weary, his golden hair matted with sweat and his gaze was soft. His touches were gentle and light. He spoke to you, his voice dripping with honey and you could hear it forever.

"I've seen too much death to ignore what truly matters. I will build a world where you are safe, by my side. Will you marry me, and help me make that dream real?"

Jolyne Cujoh

She holds you tightly, like if she lets go, you'll disappear. Her hair was messy, uniform torn, and dried blood on her knuckles.

"You idiot," She says softly, her voice cracking a bit. "You almost died trying to protect me, I told you I can handle myself." She'd wipe her tears roughly, not wanting to cry in front of you but she couldn't help it. "You mean so much to me, If I lost you I wouldn't know what to do. I'm not really good with this stuff but I love you. So screw it, marry me and let's fight for each other each day.

Johnny Joestar

He'd grip your hand tightly, tears mixing in with the dirt that was on his face. He couldn't forgive himself. You were still alive, yes, but you jumped in trying to save him only for that to backfire in your place.

"It was my fault for making you act so stupid like that. Seeing you like that, it just made me realize that you're the reason I've come this far." His voice was shaky as he tightened the grip he had with your hand. "I don't ever want to lose you again because of me, and I don't ever plan to take another step unless you're right by my side. Marry me?"

Josuke Higashikata (Gappy)

He stood beside you as you laid down on the hospital bed still recovering. He looked down like you were the most precious and fragile thing in the world. His eyes were filled with guilt and sorrow, glassy from wanting to cry.

"You really scared me. If I lost you it would've felt like I lost myself. You're the one thing that made all of me feel real. I just know I want to be with you. So..." He pulled a small box out. "Would you marry me?"

Jodio Joestar

He'd stand over your bruised body, hands in his pockets and a little pout on his face. Even near death, he keeps his demeanor cool but you could see him visibly start to shake when he finally looks down at you.

"You seriously trying to be the superhero? You're such a dummy, you almost died right in front of me, how do you think that would make me feel? I want... you to be with me always. I can't afford to lose you, not like that ever again. Just... promise me that you'll stay with me forever."

[hissweetdarling]

I normally don't want to start complaining even here about the new animation because I still like it 60% and hey at least we have another new season + I don't want to argue with people online simply because I have a different opinion but I'm freaking pissed off

I finally had some time to watch the ep 7 & 8 and it's like...does like half of the studio hates Sebastian(first screenshot with Sebastian in flames) and the other half loves Sebastian (second pic with Sebastian after he "unmasked" one of the werewolf) ?

Because how can you makes such complete opposite moments from the same show so ughhh...what I mean is that what I find fascinating about Sebastian as a character (and ignoring also my physical attraction for him for a moment) is that his demonic characteristics were showing with a certain kind of darkness which was evoked especially each time he had to do mass killings of other characters and not just for the sake of an order but in the mere combination of pleasure of exposing his true nature and obeying perfectly the role in Ciel "play" but by showing that part of him that is forbidden to be shown in other "times" without Ciel's order and like that fucking darkness which should emphasize...where is it??? WHERE?? I personally don't think you can slap some flames and make his clothes relatively like a flame. Along with the fighting scenes of this moment. We know Sebastian gets the job done , but like (I'm going to sound like Hanami from Jujustu Kaisen for a moment) but don't we also have that freaking thrill of fighting?Where is it??? Maybe in the next episode but we could still have in this one too...Like I'm comparing how I felt when I watched Book of Atlantic vs how I felt when I watched the fighting scene from episode 8 of Emerald Witch Arc.

And his eyes- what the hell guys- like how they did a really fantastic job here (despite of course I still prefer the older animations and not just because I grew up with them but ...

But also... BECAUSE LOOK :

And they can make surprised Sebastian better and they even show his fangs I mean :

Well here it's a mixture of fascination and his intuition and knowledge in action but still-They don't look clumsy?sloppy? I know you might say "well you're not an animator , you can't judge that harshly-" bestie , it's a rant...an opinion. You don't agree just scroll.

Though even his side profile...I get it I get it new studio softer animation style (this style I find it fantastic on certain characters like Finny)...however for Sebastian except in moments like above when he spoke about "intriguing things"...it's like...I'm not complaining "it's not sexy enough" Sebastian attractiveness (for me) doesn't exist solely because of his look but I'm complaining it doesn't always highlights the fact that he stands out not as Ciel stands out but as him as a demon stands out. I don't know how to explain better than how I'm currently attempting to explain at a little over 2 a.m

They did a really wonderful job here(photo below) , especially with the lightening and shadows playing on his face because we are constantly reminded no character is truly good or truly evil in this show the ambiguity is really well crafted , I gave up feeling guilty I like so many deeply flawed men in this anime a long time ago.

And in this moment we're also reminded they can't fulfill their crafted plan if Ciel loses his temper so Sebastian despite enjoying their banter , he has to remind his Master subtly about their plan.

However I'm pissed off about the way they did his side profile in a lot...way too many moments and not just that but you get the point-

[stilljuststardust]

Hello! So I'm completely new to manifesting (I believe I started like a month ago). But...I have a question, or two. I spend a lot of time during the day accessing if my mental diet is where it should be. But I believe my problem is believing it is truly mine. Believing its done! I struggle with turning logic off and turning the delulu on. Like, I'm visualizing, I'm affirming, and I try to tell myself it's done but then I begin overthinking and I start becoming anxious. I thought I was doing a good job and keeping the overthinking under control, but if I'm being real I'm not being honest with myself. I believe I'm overconsuming as well, and think this is a source if anxiety because the next thing I know I want to try all the things but I know I can't try EVERY METHOD y'know? So I guess where I'm getting at is how do I trust in MY abilities, trust that I am God, and trust in the fact that I don't have to obsess as someone who actually has high functioning anxiety? I really want to become a master manifestor. Just the thought of knowing I don't have to do life on hard mode anymore makes me so excited. Thank you, if you read this far. ❤️

Your problem is grading yourself. It doesn't matter because there's nothing accessing it is actually telling you. No matter what you figure out from overanalyzing it, what you're going to do next is the same isn't it? If you are thinking as if then your only logical next step is to continue doing that, if you aren't your next step is STILL thinking as if, so what is "accessing" actually telling you? Why not just start thinking as if instead of asking yourself if you're thinking as if enough?

"It hasn't manifested what do I have to do/have I done enough it make it manifest " is contradictory to your desire.

Thinking about all the stuff you "need" to do if you want to manifest your desire is just thinking against it in a different font.

"I need to do ___ if I want to ___" comes from the state/assumption that you don't have what you want and you need to do something else to get there.

You already have it. That's the point. "How do I get it? Am I doing enough to get it?" Is actually just you assuming you don't have it.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you already manifested it and therefore don't need to worry about manifesting it. You can do your techniques and affirmations or whatever you like to do, but all methods are designed with thinking as if you have it as the end goal. So think as if you have it.

I want you to think as if/talk to yourself as if you have already successfully manifested it and there is nothing left to do.

That is how you live in the end. Living from the assumption that you aren't doing enough and need to change something to get what you want is going to manifest just that. Think as if/assume that you have done everything right.

I know that sounds annoyingly simple, but it is simple. The hardest part of law of assumption is accepting that it actually is that easy and you don't have to be "good enough"

Personally I don't think you have to force yourself to believe in the sense of feeling it. You just have to continue thinking from/assuming the state of wish fulfilled. Most of the time for me it doesn't come with belief or feeling, I just think as if I already have what I want even when that feels weird to do.

Honestly most of my manifestations I was just kind of like "oh shit that worked? 🧍‍♀️" Because I didn't really believe it till it happened.

Don't twist yourself into knots, just do your technique. Think as if without worrying about if you're doing it correctly because you are the only person who decides what correctly is.

The hard part is letting it be easy.

[lovejongseob]

Flustering Jongseob

I think most, if not everything, can or will fluster Jongseob at some point. At first, it's mainly unintentional on your part, but every small and fleeting interaction makes his heart race. He's too smart for his own good, he just naturally picks up on tiny details and wants to analyze him. But as soon as he notices, he can't even think about anything else because of how warm he suddenly feels.

After being together and assuring him it's okay to feel and react however he wants, he doesn't necessarily stop feeling all the extra warmth, but he reacts more calmly and lets all the overflowing thoughts pass through. Even if his heart is about to beat out of his chest, he's learnt how to act cool.

Or, he thinks hes learnt how to act cool. You know the shy Jongseob is still there, and although you're super happy he's gotten more relaxed, his flustered reactions are just too sweet to pass up.

♪ Listening to him talk

He knows he shouldn't get so embarrassed over this, but he gets so caught up in his interests, and enjoys talking about them to someone who he also gets caught up in. Before he realizes, hes been talking way longer than he ever intended. But before he can feel ashamed, you're making comments or asking opinions on whatever he was talking about. He doesn't understand it himself, but it starts to feel like he himself wasn't listening to what he was saying, and forgets whatever he was talking about as soon as he realizes how focused you were on him.

♪ Rubbing your thumb over his lips

His head is already spinning as soon as you touch him, especially his face. But when you brush over his lips so softly he would think he's imagining it, his breath hitches. He forgets to breathe out because hes just so focused on how you feel against him. Its only when you take your hand away he remembers everything else.

♪ Feeling his muscles

Even if he thinks they aren't as prominent or strong, just asking him makes him short circuit. Feeling him so slowly and intimately, touching him like he was the strongest man alive. Complimenting and saying such sweet things, it was like you truly believed he was the strongest, like you really felt safe with him. It's all way too much for him, especially if you start feeling his abdomen, his knees would start feeling weak at that point.

♪ Using him to stabilize yourself

If you're shorter than him, he enjoys seeing you go on the tips of your toes to reach him. His favorite part is you resting your hands on his shoulders, or grabbing his upper arms to keep yourself balanced. Usually has his hands gently holding your waist, or sometimes playing with your hair. But his face is always warm and all his sentences seem harder to form when you're so close to him.

♪ Writing him love notes

Your schedules may not align all the time, and he never wants to feel like hes not seeing you as much as he could. He keeps this to himself, but when he starts seeing spare notebook paper and sticky pads around his room, he realizes you're still making yourself known. Every time he thinks your letters can't fluster him any more than they already have, he feels his chest explode at the new note you've left for him.

♪ Kissing his neck

When he starts teasing you, or tries to fluster you, you know exactly how to turn it on him. Kissing down his face, letting the anticipation build up, and letting your lips brush over his before passing them down to his adams apple, and kissing him right there. All the butterflies he had multiplied, and with every kiss you pepper across his neck and shoulders, he feels his head go even lighter. No matter what you do, he always ends up feeling that same rush.

once again feel like its super short and want to make a part two 💔 my requests are open btw !! i mainly write for jongseob, but feel free to ask for any member (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) posting this late so im gonna go right back to writing so theres an early morning post

[crinj-central]

Yeah I'm friends with a Shopping Service and she pretty much can attest that the vast majority of customers are Chinese Lolitas or rather, Chinese Shopping Services who arrive in drones on release day (together with scalpers). Actually AP has become quite unhinged with their new release policy, they're literally stricter than the damn border control.... people need to show a valid ID with their picture now for verification. On top of that, their new lottery system for *entering* the store has become an absolute nightmare. Basically if your number doesn't get drawn, you can't enter the store on release day at all iirc. I'm not exactly sure what AP has been thinking, because this has yet to deter any of the scalpers but it DOES alienate Japanese Lolitas even further. So all of that coupled with the climbing price hike I'm not even sure if AP is interested in keeping their actual domestic market happy....

I could probably splurge on a premium 100k dress if I really wanted to and saved up, but I don't see the point in doing so because even as sets, you only get 3 items at most. Beautifully detailed items I'm sure, but it's still not a whole lot in terms of quantity. A Happy Cakes full-set on the other hand is the better bang for the buck. But speaking of full-sets, I don't think I even spent that much on my last proper full-set (Little Witch OP, only thing I didn't get was the KC). I remember paying less than what Paris charged for the OP on its own... tbf the yen was already weak back then, but it hadn't crashed as hard either. Maybe AP's pricing has become bolder because they know they can get away with it?

I also agree with all of your other points, especially in regards to preconceived notions for fabric quality. People always assume that cotton is the best thing ever and can do no wrong, and yet I've had some truly shitty cotton fabrics in my hands that just wrinkle when you look at them wrong. Poly never does me that dirty, I can just chuck em into my suitcase and they dont even need a steamer.

Musings on the AP Cost Increases

Something came across my feed where people were talking about Angelic Pretty being low quality & over priced for polyester, and I'm not quoting it because I don't want this to be like... an attack against that person's specific personal oppinion when it's really not. It just brings up a topic I've been thinking about recently and I wanted to go into it a little deeper. I think as a community we really need to acknowledge a few things when it comes to the price increases happening with AP.

First of all, the yen is weak. [1] If AP was making everything in Japan using Japanese fibers, this wouldn't be a huge deal, but they don't. Japan doesn't grow a lot of cotton [2] so they have to buy cotton internationally. That means when the yen falls, the cost of materials goes up. AP also makes a lot of their garments in other countries. This means when then yen falls, the cost of labor goes up.

So, when we see AP releasing a fully shirred cotton JSK for ¥37,400 in 2025 [3] when a similar dress was ¥26,800 in 2020, [4], and ¥24,990 in 2012 [5], what we are seeing is inflation. It's worth noting that in countries where the currency is stronger, like the US, the cost of those 3 dresses is more flat. In USD at the time it was $262 (2025), $260 (2020) and $288 (2012) for those 3 dresses. In other words, even though the yen cost of AP's cotton pieces has increased dramatically over the price a decade ago, the price to US customers is basically the same (or even lower).

Their polyester dresses are similar in price, but, I will say, if you compare something like Decoration Ice Cream [6] to something like Happy Cakes, they are putting some more expensive design elements into some of the polyester dresses, like the belt on decoration ice cream. Cutting details on the cotton dresses can be a way to cut cost and keep from raising the price. Cutting details in general can also be a way to cut labor costs. So can switching to lower cost factories, which is going to get you lower quality sewing work.

It's also worth noting that cotton is currently trading at 66 cents per pound right now, but in April 2022, it was trading at $1.55 USD per lb. [7] That recent spike in cotton prices likely impacted Angelic Pretty (and other brands) textile selections for 2022-2023, and possibly into 2024 depending on how long it took the actual cloth prices to come back down.

The other thing to consider is that we are now about two decades out from when Angelic Pretty really started doing custom prints. So they have about two decades of experiance seeing how cotton and polyester pieces have aged, and I can say from what I have in my own closet that the polyester pieces are more colorfast. They are also generally easier to care for and take up less space, two things designers have mentioned their local Japanese customers prefer.

I also want to say that I don't think AP is overpriced. If anything I think most lolita is underpriced. As in we are under paying for the labor involved in the construction of most lolita pieces.

I do not know of any lolita brands that are significantly cheaper and equal or better quality than AP that are operating with the same costs as AP (custom textiles, custom lace, physical shop cost, etc).

I just paid Meta ¥38,000 yen for the last custom print JSK I bought from them. [8] Baby's latest print release is ¥44,880 for a JSK [9] (and totally sold out, and I'm never going to be accusing Baby of being the highest quality of all the Japanese brands.) [10] IW's Rose and strawberry cross ribbon JSK is one of their few recent custom prints and it was ¥43,890. [11] And IW closed their physical shops and their international webshop, which means they cut a LOT of overhead.

It's totally fine to not like AP and not buy AP. For some people, a lower price point garment is more in line with their budget. For some people, the things that make AP cost more just aren't value added to them, and thus aren't worth the increased costs. (For example if a person isn't super in to custom lace, a brand producing cheaper garments with commercial lace may be a better value to them). And some people have strong feelings about specific fibers, and that also is fine.

But, at the same time, if the market doesn't support higher prices, (and to be clear: I do think AP needs to raise their prices to produce higher quality garments than what they are making right now), then that product isn't going to exist. I don't know everyone's buying habbits, but historically when I've run polls [12], the international English-speaking market has focused a lot more on second hand purchasing than first hand purchasing. That doesn't push a brand like AP to produce higher cost garments because of preferences in that market while alienating their local customers who are already seeing actual cost increases due to the weak yen.

Basically, in short: lolita is expensive and it's OK to have preferences for quality and price. But I think we need to be realistic about what can and can't be produced at specific price points. If quality is the most important thing, then maybe a highly skilled indie designer who makes bespoke pieces at a higher price point is the best option. If lower price is the most important thing, there are indie brands who cut costs in various ways to get their prices lower than AP's.

But the only way to get high quality and a high level of detail at a very low cost, is with unpaid labor or other forms of theft. It's not possible.

[kickedin17]

There's something about blurryface (album) that's kind of like. Sticky. In the way that your skin is sticky when it's summer and it's past midnight and you have the window open to try to sleep but it's still too warm. Or, sticky, in the way that your hands are clammy when it's drop dead winter and you're driving around someone else's suburb, looking down the weird little leftover alleys between houses and wondering if something's going to be standing there looking back at you. And you are profoundly lonely. And you walk to a gas station, it's september maybe, and everything smells like spilled gasoline and stale cigarette smoke and there's brightly colored trash in all the gutters and all the neon signs glare off the asphalt, and when you go into the convenience store the single employee looks at you like maybe there's something weird about you, but you don't know what it is. Too quiet, maybe. Something wrong with your face. You don't smile enough. You don't want to be smiled at. It's dark all the time. But it's also springtime and the sky is pink and everything feels fleshy and delicate and rabbit-esque (tiny little heartbeats bursting everywhere), and you pick the first dandelion you see growing through the sidewalk cracks and it gets sticky milk all over your fingers. And you are profoundly lonely. You're pretending things would be better if you lived in a city where it rained more often and you could feel the hum of passing train tracks under your feet, but the truth is you're going to be lonely everywhere you go because there's this sticky ugly hollowness in you that you can't wash off no matter how hard you scrub. And maybe it would be better if you drove back home and closed the window and never left your house again and let all the lightbulbs die because something about the dark hurts less. You're running from something. What is it? Why can't you ever quite catch your breath? Why are you so sure this all has to end badly? You grew up but haven't yet learned how to grow out of anything. It's dark all the time here. Your face isn't the right one but there are no other faces. Your skin is sticky and you can't sleep. You are profoundly lonely.